Whatevo

Proven Health Benefits of Coffee

Coffee cup
The proven health benefits of coffee, according to nickmom:


  • Enables the ability to speak to others before 11 a.m.

  • Stabilizes standy-uppy functionality.

  • Decreases the chance of your murdering the person who snored in your ear all night.

  • Melts mental cobwebs so you can answer children's relentless questions over breakfast.

  • Increases the chance you'll recognize when autocorrect is messing with you.

  • Makes you less hatey.
  • Lubricates the eye-opening mechanism.

  • Deactivates Zombie Mom mode.

  • Recharges verbal filter, allows for re-entry to the world outside one's home.

  • Gives someone who hasn't slept through the night in a decade something to look forward to.



Posted by Whatevo in Health
Sep 05, 2015 12:00am
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